ANECDOTES FROM GALATEO: The term “Galateo” originates from a treatise written by Monsignor Giovanni Della Casa in the 16th century. “Galateo, or On Manners” is a treatise rich in observations, examples, and brief anecdotes through which the author seeks to teach the art—which was by no means a given at the time—of social conduct.
There are rules we learn almost without realizing it: greeting others, introducing oneself, knowing how to behave at the table, choosing the right words, understanding when to speak and, sometimes, when to remain silent. But behind many of the good manners we now take for granted lie surprising stories, forgotten customs, minor diplomatic incidents, aristocratic eccentricities, and gestures capable, at certain moments, of even changing the course of relationships between people.
Etiquette, in fact, is not merely a set of rules. It is a mirror of an era, reflecting its values and contradictions. Telling its story through anecdotes reveals that behind a handshake, a dinner invitation, a seat at the table, or a simple courtesy, there may lie far more than we imagine.
This is the inspiration behind “The Anecdotes of Etiquette”, a lighthearted and intriguing journey through the history of good manners, where etiquette ceases to be a rule and becomes a story.
Della Casa, a clergyman, writer, and diplomat, does not present proper behavior as a mere collection of prohibitions. His goal is more subtle: to explain how to avoid embarrassing others. A behavior may be technically correct, but it can still be inappropriate if it causes discomfort, disgust, or boredom among those present.
One of the most intriguing aspects of the treatise is precisely the concreteness of the examples. Monsignor Della Casa focuses on behaviors that might make us smile today, but which reveal a keen attention to everyday life. At the table, for example, a well-mannered diner must avoid anything that might be unpleasant to others.
One must not blow on food, make annoying noises, rummage through dishes, or use one’s hands in an undignified manner. Even the way one eats thus becomes a form of respect: what we do at the table concerns not only ourselves but also those sharing the meal.
Some recommendations still seem, surprisingly, relevant today: such as avoiding constantly talking about one’s own problems, not boasting about one’s own qualities, and—above all—not turning every conversation into an opportunity to make oneself the center of attention. A good conversationalist must know how to listen. A simple principle, yet one that is difficult to apply even today, in an age of conversations interrupted by notifications and monologues on social media.
Among the most interesting examples is the emphasis on bodily conduct. Monsignor Della Casa devotes space to behaviors that should be avoided in public: yawning without discretion, scratching oneself, spitting, sneezing loudly, or openly displaying bodily functions—and this is because everyone should learn to conceal from others anything that might cause annoyance or disgust.
The treatise also contains an important lesson on the relationship between manners and intentions. Indeed, it is not enough to “be polite” in the abstract. One must understand the context. A joke that amuses one person may offend another; a compliment may become embarrassing; a personal revelation may be out of place.
The true gentleman, in Monsignor Della Casa’s view, is therefore one who observes others and understands what is appropriate to do in a given situation.
Many outward rules have changed today, but the fundamental principle remains intact. Good manners are not merely about knowing which fork to use or how to address an important person.
Above all, they mean respecting the personal space, feelings, and dignity of others.
